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Signing Off with Style

The job would be more entertaining.

I wish I wrote my emails on this baby…

Since the fall 2012 semester, I’ve been writing a weekly email of news bullet points, called “FYI,” for all the students at my college. Those emails all open with a paragraph written by me — and many are listed over here — but I also try to sign off of each email with a slight variant on the basic boilerplate. Here’s the original version of my sign off:

Send me your news! Please send information about events, awards, people or other items for FYI. I’ll be happy to include your news in the next issue.

This one is a bit blah, though, so I was told I could spice it up however I wanted. For a while, I just signed my name as “Adam Rowe, Gentleman Adventurer,” but I eventually settled on adding a joke or remark to the end of the basic spiel. Thus began a long series of different versions of the above. It’s good practice to write about something this basic in as many ways as possible. Here are the director’s cuts:

Send me your news! Please send information about events, awards, people or other items for FYI. I’ll be happy to include your news in the next issue. Seriously. Nobody ever sends stuff in. Do it.

Send me your news! Please send information about events, awards, people or other items for FYI. I’ll be happy to include your news in the next issue. Or just email me and request a joke about lemmings. I have a few.

Send me your news! Please send information about events, awards, people or other items for Geneva Happenings. I’ll be happy to include your news in the next issue. Or I’ll be sad to include it, if it’s sad or something. I mean, whatever’s appropriate.

Send me your news! Information about events, awards, people or other items for FYI would be great. Come on. You know you want to. My email title is even an accronym. How trendy is that?

Send me your news! Information about events, awards, people or other items for FYI would be great. Or don’t. That’s okay, too.

Send me your news! Information about events, awards, people or other items for FYI would be great. But even if you don’t, I’ll still respect you for reading to the end of this email instead of just deleting it.

Send me your news! Please send information about events, awards, people or other items for FYI. I’ll be happy to include your news in the next issue. I’m serious. Send it in. No one sent me anything last semester, and it gets lonely here at the PR office.

Send me your news! Please send information about events, awards, people, accomplishments, birthday greetings, snorkling commericals, shout-outs, hypothetical scenarios, clarifications, obfuscations, or other items for FYI. I’ll be happy to include your news in the next issue.

Send me your news! Please send information about events, awards, or other items for FYI. I’ll be happy to include your news in the next issue. Maybe I’ll even be sad if you don’t send me any. You don’t want that, do you?

Send me your news! Please send information about events, awards, or other items for FYI. I’ll be happy to include your news in the next issue. Even the lame news. Yeah, that’s right, your news is lame.

Send me your news! Please send information about events, awards, or other items for FYI. I’ll be happy to include your news in the next issue. I’m always happy to do everything, actually. People are starting to worry. I’m having my problem checked up on.

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