For the past year, I’ve been a PR intern at my college, Geneva (perhaps most well-known as the alma mater of Madonna’s dad, according to this book, which mistakenly called the institution Catholic). Since the fall 2012 semester, I’ve been writing a weekly email of news bullet points for all the students, called “FYI.” From this perch of power, I have been able to address the student body with a different opening paragraph of inane blither every Wednesday. I’m still working on this semester’s, but here’s all my opening paragraphs from fall 2012.
These are busy days on campus. New and returning students are gathering on the walkways and in Alex’s. Faculty welcome students and pass out assignments. Staff are stepping into new routines. And inboxes everywhere are getting a ton of emails like this. Fall 2012 is officially underway! It should be a semester to end all others, especially if the Mayans have anything to say about it.
Labor Day 2012 was perhaps the most labor-intensive holiday yet. As you all know, us students attended classes as usual, in keeping with Geneva’s policy to put the ‘labor’ in Labor day. But the award for literal interpretation goes to the Head Men’s Soccer coach’s wife, Heather Dunda, for going into labor and giving birth to an adorable baby boy on Monday. Congratulations to all involved!
Happy Sexuality Week, everyone. Normally, I’d make a joke in this opening paragraph, but sensitivity and comedy don’t go together. I’m sure that you’ve got friends who can supply plenty of both. Let’s cut to the news:
Week 5 (skipped the fourth week):
We’re halfway through the fifth week of the semester! New students are developing study patterns like the flight patterns of young geese, while older students are falling back into their past habits like older, more experienced geese who drink a lot of coffee. I just had my first test yesterday. It was a trail-by-fire experience, and I’ve risen from the ashes with renewed faith in my ability to focus on learning. Similarly to a pheonix, if you don’t mind multiple bird analogies.
How about that quadruple-overtime GT football win, guys? If that had happened later in the season and if a team of puppies had played on the team, we could have been an after-school special. As it is, we’re just awesome. In other awesome news:
Midterm season is officially here. It’s like hunting season, because we all gather to spend the majority of our time sitting and studying things. Eventually, this patience gives us the ability to get a clear shot at the deer of test-taking know-how. Hopefully, we’ll all get more than a six-pointer midterm, though. Keep studying! Fall break is only days away.
Fall break is over, but we’ve only got three days of school ahead before the next weekend… it’s like we get a mini break. Okay, okay, all weekends are technically mini breaks. This one is just hosting a little event called Homecoming…
Homecoming was a hit, despite rain. I personally prefer the colder, overcast weather – no harsh light, and I can happily drink my hot coffee. I defintely feel sorry for anyone who was in the dunk tank, though. I passed a six-year-old with a sadistic eye trying to soak another engineering major.
Someone needs to dress up as a GT basketball player for Midnight Madness tonight, and then act annoyed at all of the other people in costumes being there. No need to thank me for the last-minute suggestion. Other options include dressing normally and being Bruce Banner, or writing “book” on your face and going as Facebook. In other news:
Election season’s over, and so is the constant barrage of political attack ads! Now we can get back to the important national topics like the Mayan apocalypse.
Hopefully you’ve saved a pocketful of sunshine over the weekend. There’s no telling when that amount of cheery warmth will arrive again. I recommend thinking of the current cloud cover as a big fuzzy cotton blanket.
Hope thanksgiving break treated you well! I trust you ate turkey and avoided homework in the true spirit of thankfulness. Now we’re back into the final push of the semester, but there’s one more awesome event: Film Fest 2012, this coming Saturday! I have it on good authority that there’s a strong crop of quality films this year. There’s a horror, a sci-fi, and an action comedy, and those are only the ones I know about.
Finals week looms on the horizon like a snoring ocelot: harmless until sleep is removed from the picture. Keep on learning things, at least for a few weeks. You stop paying for it after that.