I can’t wait until someone loses their phone and then explains that it was set to silent, so it can’t even be called. Then I can say “If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it.”
I also wish an escalator in a mall would malfunction and start shooting people up it really fast so that I can say “Well, that escalated quickly,” but, let’s face it, that’s a lot less likely to happen. Which is sad, because all the people shooting off the top of the escalator would look really funny.
There’s one more situation that I’m waiting to crack wise about: if my English teacher ever passes out in class, I’ll have the chance to say, “Well, I never expected to see a misplaced coma.”
This jokes are all the result of a major introvert hobby of mine: mapping out conversation in my head before, after, or during the actual conversation. It’s a pain, often, since it takes a lot out me when I’m interacting socially. I usually sound perfectly normal, but have a bunch of different conversational angles churning away in my brain, all hoping to be picked next.
On the upside, this means that I can come up with good facebook statuses.